-May 7, 1966
What was the name of the snake in the Humphrey Bogart picture "We're Not Angels"? Can you name eight characters from Howdy Doody, Where did our gal Sunday live?
If you can answer the above questions you qualify as a truly trivial person and should have participated (if you didn't) in WLFM-AM's marathon trivia contest last weekend.
Beginning Friday night, the closed-circuit radio system of WLFM-AM began broadcasting its standard fare of rock and roll to the dormitories, but before every song a trivial question on the order of "Who starred in 'The Creature from the Black Lagoon'?" was asked.
All dormitories which called in the correct answer to the question while the record played were awarded "trivia points" in the competition to establish the most trivial dorm on campus.
Between Friday night and Sunday night four hundred and seven questions were asked during twenty-nine hours of rock and roll broadcasting. The contest turned out to be a very tight race between Plantz and Brokaw dormitories.
The fight went down to the wire on Sunday night when Plantz fought down the last Brokaw drive and with the question "What is the phone number of the New York theater where the widow of Humphrey Bogart is currently appearing?" (four dorms answered correctly in three minutes or less) the contest came to an end with Plantz the winner.
During the course of the contest the radio station received between seven and ten thousand phone calls in response to the trivia. Master of trivia J. B. deRosset told the Lawrentian that the contest was instituted as a response to Encampment.
The overwhelming success of the contest has caused the station to begin planning for another trivia marathon next year during Encampment weekend. They are considering asking for petitions from students who wish to remain on campus.
-May 6, 1966
Last night at 11 p.m., the Good Guys of WLFM-AM launched the Second Annual Midwestern Trivia Contest.
Former Lawrentian editor, H. Gibson Henry, currently czar of WLFM's closed circuit AM operation, explained that the 50-hour marathon broadcast over both AM and FM will run until 1 a.m. Monday when the tallies will be totaled and the winners justly rewarded.
After each musical selection a question will be asked about old TV, radio, movies, comic books, or rocks and roll. Listeners may phone in answers and receive Trivia Points for each correct answer. Any group, formal or informal, may enter by simply calling the station during the contest.
In addition to the regularly scheduled musical and educational programming from 1:15 to 11 p.m., the station will feature a rock and roll format for the first time on the FM portion of its operation.
The competition has been divided into two groups. The first group will be composed of university residence halls and fraternity houses, competing against each other.
In the second group, the citizens of Appleton will compete among themselves. Valuable top prizes will be offered to both groups.
The kinds of questions fall into four general categories, concerned with old TV shows, moldy films, retired rock 'n' roll greats, action-packed comic books and, of course, Lassie. Questions will be asked randomly and when least expected.
WLFM also has planned other activities to keep Lawrentians off the streets. David Pfleger, gnome dispatcher for WLFM, revealed that a grudge match of stickball will be played on Union Hill today at 2 p.m. between the WLFM Wise Guys and the Bums fro WDUZ of Green Bay.
Tonight at 8:30, WLFM will hold a Trivia dance in the Union. The Good Guys will continue to ask questions during the dance, and the nature of the valuable top prizes, to be awarded Monday morning, will be disclosed. The last two hours of the dance, 10:30 to 12:30, will be broadcast live.
Considering more than 10,000 phone calls were received during last year's competition, this year's spectacle should make its mark in the long and proud history of Lawrence University.
WLFM's program manager Tom Kendall said that the purpose of the contest was to demonstrate that an educational radio station can be fun. The station ordinarily broadcasts classical music, jazz, folk, news, sports and educational features on its FM segment at 91.1 m.c. and rock and roll to its on-campus closed-circuit AM audience.
This will be the first time that the 600,000 people in the WLFM listening area will have the opportunity to hear the on-campus portion of the programming.
Last year's Trivia Contest stimulates unprecedented response on the Lawrence campus, with more than 10,000 phone calls received. "This will be an opportunity for everyone to remember the fun things of their past," said Pfleger, Master of Trivia.
We will have questions for all segments of the listening audience, from teeny-boppers to Fred Allen fans. Even if you don't participate it will be fun to listen to the questions."
-May 3, 1968
As WLFM's Master of Trivia, J. B. DeRosset once said, "The mind of every human being is a virtually untapped source of trivial knowledge." WLFM is once again striving to prove this true when on May 3-5 (Encampment weekend) the student owned and operated FM station will spend fifty hours asking the most trivial of questions.
Judging from last year's response and the increased publicity this year, Trivia should be the greatest event since Liberace left Menasha (keep that in mind; it could be useful).
For those unfamiliar with Trivia contests, here are a few helpful rules of play: A question is asked every three minutes, 24 hours a day. The contestant has those three minutes to answer the question.
If he gives the right answer a specified number of points will be attributed to his dorm, house, or whatever he represents. At the end of the contest period (12:45 a.m., Monday, May 6) prizes will be awarded to the group with the most points.
For those of you wary of FM programming rest assured that from 10:30 p.m. until 2:15 p.m. during the contest period the programming will be the sounds of today's rock 'n' roll 'n' soul. because of the great number of phone calls the station gets during the 50 hours of Trivia, WLFM needs 4-5 phone secretaries (male or female) to answer the phone calls.
If you have any desire to participate in trivia in a way other than answering the questions, sign up for phone shifts. just call, write, or stop in at the studios; there is a sign up sheet just inside the studio door. Women will be given permission to stay out after hours, but they should sign up soon so that the names can be given to the dean.
Trivia was founded and first heard on WLFM-AM in the spring of 1966. It was expanded to the greater Appleton are on WLFM in 1967. It was founded by "The First Master of Trivia" J. B. DeRosset. It is the program which asks the questions like "What was the first hit of the Beau Brummels" and "Scotch Tape brought you this early TV Panel show featuring children...Name the show."
Even if you don't know the answers to these questions you are certain to know the answers to many others. There will be 2,000 questions, so start digging back into the trivial areas of your minds.
May 10, 1968
Last weekend's WLFM sponsored "Trivia" contest was apparently considered a success by both participants and staff members, one of whom stated, "Yes, WLFM is getting more and more trivia all the time!"
The Fijis triumphed over other campus contestants, in which were included such groups as the Virgins Merry, the Knights of Alcohol, the Senior-Junior Woodchucks, and the Pink Toilet. the Fijis were followed by the Jefferson Drum, the Phi Taus, and the Sig Eps, according to Bill Beuscher, program manager.
Off-campus winner was Cress House, a group from the Institute of Paper Chemistry. Taking second place were the Album Covers, and third went to Appleton West.
The Fijis received a large wedding cake for their efforts. Special WLFM trivia awards went to various contestants, including the Pink Toilet, most original name; Jack, favorite person on-campus; Mike of Little Chute, a 12 year old boy, favorite person off-campus; Cress House, favorite group off-campus, and Jefferson Drum, most obnoxious.
Rick Walsh was official master of trivia.
-May 21, 1971
The WLFM Trivia contest of 1971 help last weekend proved to be a special challenge to the academicians both here on campus and off. While there were 15 participants for both the off-campus and on-campus categories, scores ranged from (off-campus) Philboid Studge's 2,890, to Johnny Joe's Jumpies Jollies 145, tied with Tom & Dave & John, 745. On-campus scored were substantially higher with Gorilla Rabbit taking the show with 3,955 and Blanche Cleaning Lady playing low man with 540 points.
First prize on-campus, which went to Gorilla Rabbit, was an attractive black furry shag rug in the shape of a right foot which says "WLFM Trivia 1971" on the back of it, suitable for stepping on when you get out of the shower, get out of bed, or whenever you just feel like stepping on something. First prize off-campus, which went to Philboid Studge, was an attractive bird bath, which has "WLFM Trivia 1971" pointed on it for all the birds to see.
Second prize on-campus, taken by Guido, was a handsome plastic orange canoe paddle with (you know what) painted on it, suitable for paddling a plastic orange canoe down the Fox River. Monkey Demon, taking second prize, off-campus, received an official-looking yield sign, made out of sturdy cardboard, with WLFM Trivia 1971" smudged across the top. Third prize for on and off-campus was respectively a handy toilet plunger with WLFM painted on various parts of it, and suitable for cleaning ears or pulling dents out of your automobile, and a collection of five monaural Nancy Sinatra records, neatly bound together with package string, and which can be used as Frisbees, ash trays, pizza platters, or hub caps.
The booby prize, which went to Sky King, was a beautiful 36 "B" padded bra, tailored in the Philippines for maximum comfort and freedom, for that "Is it really me" look painted with WLFM in prominent places, also suitable for freezing cantaloupes, for use as oversized ear-warmers, or for carrying two flags in a parade.
Best-loved contestant prize went to John Doe...a bag of several hundred "Try a Little Kindness" Buttons.
To get an idea of what the contest was like, one can refer to some of the more provocative questions asked. For 5 points, how tall is Duane Eddy? Double that by answering how Groucho Marx got his start in show business. Fifteen pointers would include questions of "What was the name of Amos and Andy's taxi cab company?" and "What French poet's mother kept her three still-born infants pickled in bottles?" For a big 50, one would have to know what Turkish wrestler wore his money-belt in the ring.
On Monday, May 17, after the Trivia Contest, Mr. Joseph A. Boisse, assistant librarian, noted that almost 40 reference books, which had disappeared mysteriously over the weekend, were returned in the book deposits. Titles include Bartlett's Familiar Quotations, Who Was Who 1951-1960, Handy Book of Curious Information, Brewer's the Historic notebook with an appendix of battles, and many others.
March 2, 1973
Throughout the weekend, the contest was mixed, but it closed on the up side. The contest of course, was the WLFM-WCHT Eighth Annual Midwest Trivia Contest, and, for the eighth year in a row, all semblances of normalcy went by the boards as Lawrentians, Appletonians, and even Oshkoshites devoted their entire weekend to amassing credit for the recall of trivial facts. Once again, new records were set for obscurity of questions, total points gained, number of hours spent without food or sleep, and number of fingers worn out by dialing the telephone. Once again, there were those stunning Trivia T-shirts (still some in stock, not all sizes available, $1.50, while the supply lasts). Once again there was a serenade by the Lizard Hot Four or Five, with renditions of "Barbara Ann" and "Swing Low, Sweet Armadillo". In many respects, trivia 1973 was much the same phenomenon that has gripped Lawrence for one weekend out of the year for each of the past eight years.
Then, too, there were some new things this year. For one thing, the evil geniuses at WLFM who plan this craziness each year got on the shtick a little sooner, and, with the experienced guidance of incumbent Trivia Master Tony Welhouse and the constant goading General Manager Eric Buchter, trivia was brought forth in the Second Term of the year. Winter Term tends to get depressingly serious, so it needs a refreshing blast of zaniness much more than Spring Term does. This year we got something we really wanted: a Winter Trivia.
Another new factor was the influx of hard-nosed commercialism. Sammy's Pizza, the winning sage-based team, received free pizzas throughout the contest and free beer at the end for doing such a good job in promoting the company's product. Tom Oreck's hustling was the source of this largess, and Sammy's returned the favor by treating their patrons to Trivia on the store radio. Who knows where this might lead?
One more thing that was added to this year's contest was a sharp increase in the scope and sophistication of the tapping of the phone lines coming into the station. New equipment developed by the incorrigible Larry Page allowed us to monitor and/or tape record the conversations on all but one of the seven incoming lines. Monitoring the lines allows us to catch complicity between the phone answerers and the callers.
On the bas side, too, there were some new things. Contestants have understood for years the caller-controlled nature of the University's extension phone system. In the past, they have occasionally called the station and left their phone off the hook. This holds the line open no matter what the station person may do with it, and deprives other people of the opportunity to use it. A new twist was added this year when people started using this tactic against teams, rather than just against the station. teams quickly responded by keeping their phones off the hook as much as possible, and probably this will cause the problem to disappear.
Another serious violation of the spirit of Trivia and fair play occurred when some members of at least one team were induced to consume some "poisoned" cookies. While the "poison" was only Ex-Lax, it was potent enough to send some of the people to the Infirmary.
Cheating and foul play received more attention this year as the tactics escalated and as the means to detect it improved. Early Sunday morning, the Phi Tau's team, Rudolf F. Brainee, was penalized 100 points for a bit of cheating which was detected and recorded off the phone. This marked the first time in several years that a team was caught and penalized for cheating.
Frank Duchow, a leader of Rudolf Brainee, said, "Believe it or not, we don't care who wins." The team name, of course, comes from last year's playoff question on which the Tau's (then known as "Gammera") lost that contest: "From what sport do the following terms come: rudolfs, fliffies, and brainees?" As near as anyone can reconstruct the incident, it was divine intervention which caused (Mad Dog's) Tom Oreck to say "Trampoline!" and leave the Phi Tau's speechless and winless. This year there was not even a playoff, but Duchow and his fellow Brainees accepted defeat graciously, walking (or, perhaps more accurately, staggering) away with the second prize: a fifty-pound block of salt.
Over at Sammy's Pizza, there was a general feeling that all has gone well. Elaborate preparations, including extensive technical work involving the installation of intercoms and extension phone lines (all engineered by Mike Garthwaite), had paid off, and now the WLFM Trivia toilet seat was on the trophy rack. Everyone was impressed with the team's own sense of fair play; they strenuously denied any part in any wrongdoing and said they were even hesitant to let any of their members go to the station to answer phones, because their mere presence might be taken as an attempt to cheat. in fact, there were only two or three times the whole weekend when members of the Sammy's team were answering phones at the station. In a contest in which everyone assumed everyone was cheating, it was clear that everybody can't be cheating if each team unilaterally renounces foul play.
As for the future, who knows what armadillo brings? The senior members of Sammy's are considering returning to run Trivia next year. Larry Page will improve the phone bugging apparatus. those in charge of trivia will continue to Ruthlessly minimize the amount of time any one team spends on the phone, allowing others the chance to get in. The welfare of the smaller teams will be assiduously looked after. We may get the station's phone numbers switched to unused blocks of extensions in an effort to unclog the lines. Off-campus, Monkey Demon plans retirement after their big comeback win this year, but the Undeer has told this reporter, the he definitely plans to have the man from Uncola bring him back from Michigan for Trivia 1974. in any case, dates for the Ninth Annual Trivia Contest will be set by Christmas time.
One thing is certain: next year's contest will not take place if there is a further escalation of the kind of foul play that sends otherwise healthy contestants to the Infirmary.
Next year's Trivia? Well, just remember the old proverb: At the end of every rainbow lies a pot of armadillos!
-February 8, 1974
For the first time, the Ninth Annual Midwest Trivia Contest is about to begin. With the Armadillo nightmares behind us, and the prospect of Lizard singing their Saturday night "Barbara Ann" yet to come, this year's battle promises to be better than ever.
Stung by their close defeats in past years, the Phi Taus have amassed a veritable arsenal of trivia power to unleash over the phones at unsuspecting Trivia masters. With the taste of near victory in their mouths, (apologies to Deep Throat) and the possibility of poisoned cookies well in the back of their minds, the Phi Taus vowed to take this one "running away." "We've been in second place long enough," cried one desperate brother, "never again!"
The Taus have good reason to be optimistic. they have complete notebooks on past questions and answers and have filed some away for quick reference. The Phi Taus maintain it's good for getting morale up for the match and priming new freshmen who have never experienced Lawrence Trivia before.
While they were optimistic, some were also lamenting the cut-throat nature of Trivia. "We got a real shitty deal last year with those laxative-laced cookies," said the Tau representative. "We even had people calling us up from Science Hall to jam our phones. it's just a game, God. Why sabotage people for a ten gallon jar of mustard?" because the Trivia masters are tightening up the rules for this year, the Phi Taus regretfully predict there will be lower scored and less campus involvement.
Despite their hopes for a win this year, the Taus are hampered by a loss of some real pros through graduation and only a two-phone system. However, their references and past experience might offset these problems.
Grabbing on to Tom Oreck's idea of the past two years, a number of enterprising Junior's have formed a team entitled "the Mark," sponsored by the beer and pizza joint of the same name. For the effort of staying up all night to answer esoteric questions on just about any subject, "the Mark" will receive several free pizzas and a half-barrel of beer.
Their big bonus this year is the size of the team - three floors of Freshmen and two floors of upper-classmen. Mark Charette, team spokesman, explained that "the more people you have, the more answers you get...we haven't got any specific resource books - just the usual movie and radio song books." "The Mark" will be operating out of Coleman, with three phones operating, they could be a real threat this year.
"Leangelo Mysteriouso" will be operating out of Ormsby. They're new-comers on the Trivia scene - really rank amateurs, but they hope to have a good time - and get some studying done as well. they have no organization and no reference material. "From what I've heard of the organized teams," said Charles Ellingboe, "we don't stand a chance...If we don't win we'd like to wish luck to the John Keltner fan club."
In contrast to "Leangelo Mysterioso," the Delt team (unnamed as yet) has reams of reference material and a list of past alums who might return for the weekend. They're really playing it by ear this year, but they have a lot of past experience from which to draw. "We're just going to stay with it as long as we can...we're only here for the beer."
The Fijis, like the Delts, approach Trivia in an "off the cuff" manner. Some die-hards play around the clock - others stay up just for the company and to get some work done. one good innovation that has worked well in the past is a specialties list where house members put down their areas of competency - and get aroused in the middle of the night to give answers. "We really don't give two shits about the game itself...we just play to have fun."
One of the great names in Trivia, LIZARD, will again be pounding the phones with speeding-bullet-like quickness. Said a spokesman, "We plan to do alright." LIZARD, it has been learned, organized the Armadillo phenomenon of last year. "We felt that the social environment of the campus needed something uplifting," modestly replied the spokesman, who preferred to remain unidentified, as he lit up another cigarette.
LIZARD relies on no formal method of organization and preparation. "For the past two years we successfully cooperated with indigenous elements to form the winning combination," another member chirped in, "this year we will have to rely on a relatively untested yet astonishing amount of potential. We plan to do alright." LIZARD will operate from Trever Hall, and expects to use its technical expertise as well as latent trivial skill to "the utmost possible advantage, with the rules." Lighting a cigarette, another stalwart LIZARD added, "We plan to do alright."
Of course, most smart money will be on a newcoming team this year. The Lawrentian staff, we have heard from admittedly unreliable sources, is to be expected to demonstrate that its linguistic and investigative skills are not limited to the mundane goings on on campus. A high official, who preferred to remain anonymous, simply stated, "We plan to do alright."
February 22, 1974
At 11:45 p.m. all attention was focused on the rectangular box on the bookcase with "Pioneer" scrawled in silver on the front. The symbolic green dial glistened. The white cinder block cubicle, though meant for only one, seemed to expand far beyond its normal boundaries. This expansion was needed considering the throngs whose job it had become to be experts in naval history, "Gilligan's Island", the gnomes of the German High Command, and dictionary quotes. they were waiting for the Super Garruda.
Finally it happened. What holiday is celebrated during the second week of November? Who knew? Not a body with a brain in the top had any idea of what the answer was. All that could be agreed upon was that it was bound to celebrate something obscure.
No one knew. No one in the entire world had ever heard of National Split Pea Soup Week. How does that make all of you with the 3.49 g.p.a.'s feel?
The final tabulations had to be made. The tension would need a chain saw to be sliced. There was talk of negotiations with one of the contending teams. There was talk of a playoff. There was talk of cheating, and the fairness of the accusations. There were the constant threats on the life of the General Manager of WLFM for his giving the Fourth Tower of Iverness radio time that could have better been used advocating the saving of human manure as a food substance.
Finally, an hour after the Fox Valley came in first in the Stupid Derby again, the results were finalized. lizard had won. Sky King was a close second, and Kirwood Dirby a strong third. All were called down to claim the awards they coveted so much. What would you do for an old round black cushion with WLFM 1974 TRIVIA CONTEST engraved in red paint? All of the big winners marched to the Music Drama Center and claimed the spoils of war.
It was a contest that was marked with the emergence of Lizard on its own after two years of living under the shadow of Mad Dog and Sammy's Pizza. Lizard was the freshman team that started 90 minutes behind all other Trivia teams four years ago and finished fifth, using well its most effective weapon, guessing blindly.
The contest saw some changes this year, some of which were necessary, but at the same time took a lot of the fun out of Trivia. The most crushing blow would seem to be banning the calling in of answers under more than one team name. the institution of this rule would seem to be a result of the armadillo invasion of last year, when thousands of the little creatures found themselves crawling through the radio speakers in naked, dead free spirit, golden, and bush-like forms. While it took all of the creativity out of trivia, this rule also prevented an invasion by salamanders, iguanas, weasels, or other icky creatures.
There was a black mark on the contest as one of the eventual winners was discovered to have someone undertaking espionage for them. Although innocent of any knowledge of the action, the spy's actions were judged the responsibility of the team and they were docked some points and kept out of the contest for a while. But this handicap was overcome and they put on a driving finish.
The news of the first place finish brought joy, although not surprise, for lizard. the big question was in what manner to accept the award. it was decided that the best means of acceptance was a show of the strength of Lizard by appearing en masse. The conquerors marched from the depths of the Appleton frontier (Trevor Hall) into civilization (Alton Street). As they marched into the territory to be occupied, they sang the songs that they were becoming known for: "Swing Low Sweet Armadillo" and "Barbara Ann". The chorus could be heard from the halls of the Zuelke Building to the shores of Lake Winnebago.
The off campus winners came in their battle wagons in an awesome display of trivial power. the generals had their vehicles parked in front of Trivia Headquarters. A steady stream of bodies flowed in and out, all there to claim the spoils of war. The last group to leave was, of course, the on campus winner. The evening ended with the cry from one of the happy crew, "On to The Mark to eat pizza!" and the woeful cry of another, "And then everyone back to Trever to clean up my room."
There was not a great deal of argument, frustration, anger, and desire for vengeance. But in spite of the small amount of hostility that surfaced, there was always one cry that sounded by all trivia teams: Why the hell is he playing the Fourth Tower of Iverness again?
-February 7, 1975
The study of the obscure has always been one of man's obsessions. From the King lists of the Egyptians to the New York telephone directory, humans have been cataloging useless data in an irrational flurry that has lasted for centuries.
But where did it all start? Swedish anthropologist Sphilt Knöckers offers his hypothesis; "Man is a social animal, therefore he rationalizes his actions through art. This art is manifest in all types of human nature, such as table manners. When we first discovered Hawaiian man in 1897 we were convinced that this was the true link between Homo Sapiens and common table catsup. Further research, proved us wrong."
The riddle of the Sphinx was perhaps the first true Trivia question. the curios stone image has asked its queer conundrum for ages. Its translation is: "The pause that refreshes." Bedouin bandits took this as an open invitation to rifle the nearby pyramids. But to the Greeks this had a special meaning. In his "Ramblings on Triangles," Pythagorus summed it up: "Well me and the guys were, uh, you know, drinking hemlock and exchanging togas when Pisaritus the Skinny says, 'hey, why don't we check out the new tragedy at the Orpheum'..."
In Rome, for years Cicero was ostracized for his offensive collection of Hannibal jokes. With a rousing 290 to 3, the Centuriate Council of 100 voted to seal Cicero's mouth with a live bird in it. Cruel but fair justice was the Centuriate's forte.
By the Dark Ages those who could still read were either very old or needed glasses. In monasteries throughout France monks with bald heads and smelly feet burnt the midnight oil all day translating the Bible into Esperanto. their thankless labors were never recognized by Pope Innocent III as he died of the Plague shortly after converting to Zorastianism.
In the 18th century people in the know were all reading Diderot's Encyclopedia for the message in between the lines. The message was, "What are you doing, you moron, are you trying to ruin your eyes?" Great minds from all over Europe contributed to this first scientific collection of knowledge. the laundry lists of King Tut, the density of mud, the discovery of children, and other hard hitting articles aroused in the philosophes such excitement that the original press run of six sold briskly (some are still available if you act now).
When in the 1870's the typewriter was invented, the study of the obscure took a giant step forward. Correspondence between trivial minds increased even more sharply when the ribbon and the keyboard were introduced. Writers grappled with such questions as; When will John Foster Dulles be born? While right and leftist economists hotly debated which one really was the "invisible hand" of Adam Smith.
Trivials, Slavophiles, and Presbyterians alike delighted with the announcement that Kerensky had escaped the Bolsheviks and was safely installed in Dayton, Ohio as a Duncan yo-yo champ. But thus optimism was swiftly washed away when, in 1922, Washington published the text of the Franco-Chevy alliance, the direct results of which were better mileage and an extension of the Maginot Line to Detroit.
Turning to America; though it is generally acknowledged that Calvin Coolidge had all the charisma of a potato, it must be admitted that he was a lousy president. this however, didn't stop him from exercising his power over everything within his sphere. Dogs, children, and furniture all suffered from his adenoidal wrath. When Coolidge died (shortly before taking office) real trivia died with him.
A couple of notes on the 10th Annual Midwest Trivia Contest from Ali-Ak Basim and the Flatfoot Melody Boys. Wisconsin Bell has been marvelously cooperative with the Trivia staff in providing most every building in the Fox Valley with a telephone. The Rumanian Army is here to see that they are used. Stan Cola has been kind enough to provide trivia staff and all the volunteer workers (that means you guys) with an endless supply of their tuna flavored product (it's hard to get rid of). Their oft quoted motto is: "You like it...it's not too crazy about you." We don't even have to advertise their product though it comes in easy no pour bottles and is available wherever fine furniture polish is sold. And remember, if you don't drink it, it'll stunt your growth.
January 30, 1976
After God created man, He knew his life would be drenched in sin. In order to save him from eternal damnation, science and boredom, God sent his Trivia Masters to the planet earth. These Trivia Masters came with a definite mission - to rid man of his everyday trials and tribulations by asking him meaningless questions to fill his idle time. Instead of asking man, "Who are you?," the Trivia Masters ask, "Who sold love potion no.9?" And instead of asking man, "What are you?," the Trivia Masters ask, "What was the name of Spock's father in Star Trek?"
Fir those of you who have been either living in a cave this term, or have been hibernating in the basement of the Conservatory blowing your musical armadillo, TRIVIA IS COMING! If you are a naïve freshman or if you have a 4.0, let us take a few moments to define TRIVIA:
TRIVIA is first of all not a:
TRIVIA is a:
TRIVIA will be held not this weekend, bozos, but the next weekend. From next Friday 10 pm until Sunday the 8th of February at midnight, 50 hours of fun-filled madness will have elapsed. And if you think you are going to study that weekend, forget it, buster.
A question (not yes-no nor true-false) will be asked for a certain number of points, and then a record lasting from three to four minutes will be played. WLFM's six phone lines will take in calls from both on-campus and off-campus teams around the area. When the record is finished, the question is repeated, the answer is given, and points are awarded to the teams who give the correct answer. Sounds logical enough, doesn't it?
Prizes will be awarded to the dorms receiving the most points. Last year the Phi Taus and Co., the controversial Sum Kinda Dummies, won the contest, getting a pair of men's briefs saying "Trivia 75" on it. other past prizes have included a dust pan saying the same thing and a 25 pound block of salt. (Rub that in your wounds this year Phi Taus; Tuna Tower says it is out to get you.)
If the GD WLFM stereo generator isn't fixed by the time the contest begins, and if the $6,000 hence isn't raised, the President of the IRA is going to air-mail a letter bomb to every Lawrentian who doesn't contribute to the cause. So empty your pockets, cheapos, the IRA and its Belfast Bonozos say it has enough wizzards (not lizzards) to beat even Tuna Tower this year. Don't forget to buy a Trivia T-shirt, available in WLFM studios, for a mere $2.50
And where are the armadillos this year? We wouldn't let our daughter go out with an armadillo, let alone marry one. is it too freezing cold for our ant-eating armatus(es)? Our daughter was once bitten by an armadillo. We had to take her to the vet. Watch out Phi Taus for the small tacks in the chocolate covered cake. And Tuna Tower, the Chicken of the Sea is a Virgin.
-January 30, 1976
To the Editor:
A weekend of madness will soon grip the Lawrence campus. In just one week hundreds of Lawrentians in many teams will be virtually glued to their radios day and night for two days. Movie books, record books (especially Guinness), dictionaries, encyclopedias, newspapers from way back when, and the like will be piled to the ceiling. Spies and detectives will criss-cross the campus. Professors will be called upon at all hours in their homes, or wherever they're hiding. What is this, a mad study craze> No, just a scramble to find answers to questions such as "When is National Split Pea Soup Week?" or "How old is the tree just east of Main Hall?" before someone else does. And why has this Trivia contest been such a success over the past decade? Why do people who never dream of involvement in such things suddenly find themselves entrapped by such trivia? The most famous theory to date is that advanced by Simon S. Feud.
According to Feud, the mind is divided into three main components. They are the trivia, the question, and the super question. The trivia is the consumer of all energy in the system. it consumes it best in the form of a trivial question or answer. They are consumed by a process called anthection. The trivia is very primitive and cannot find questions to ask or answer for anthection on its own. This is up to the question and super question. The question finds questions or answers to anthect in the real world. the super question chooses the socially acceptable ones.
The problem is that Feud's trivia drive is best satisfied if the question or answer is trivial. but this is not usually acceptable in society. (Imagine, for example, asking someone "How many legs does a smashing stomatopod have?", for no apparent reason.) If this drive is not satisfied the mind becomes charged with too much psychic energy and the person becomes nervous and irritable. Fortunately, however, the trivia can be satisfied with a more complex question or answer. this is called sublimation.. Unfortunately, sublimation is never completely gratifying.
It is now evident why trivia is so successful. Everyone has an inner drive that is gratified at trivia time. As can be seen, this is very important for psychological needs. In the words of Simon S. Feud, "The importance of trivia must never be forgotten."
Submitted by:
-Stephen Pflanze
-February 6, 1976
Yes, it's TRIVIA time again. Tonight at 10:00 TRIVIA '76 will kick off this year's tribute to the tuna with the faithless backing of that deep sea delight Stan Cola. Broadcasting with the power of a 30 watt light bulb, WLFM will present 50 hours of lethargic lafs with an all-talking, all-singing, and all-dancing chorus of frivolous madcappers, stupendous brainbusters, and bourgeois decadence.
After a revolutionary struggle, in which the indentured serf population of the greater Milwaukee area played no significant part, Ali-Ak Basim and their right underhanded leftist deviators were purged fro the sonic system.
Partisan and Salvation Army Bands chased the Capitalist utopian bird-dog pig fire-eaters to a grotto on the outskirts of West Beaver Dam, where they were consumed by caramel corn and a desire to be home in time for the series. A victory for social conversationalists everywhere.
The new junta has promised a classless, if a little gauche, TRIVIA contest, retaining the earlier framework of Jeopardy and mindless insanity while renouncing the cult if the cauliflower, and have banned the use of the word "Smorgasbord" throughout the 50-hour contest.
The extinguished Dr. of Pomology, Sphilt Knockers, this year's Grand TRIVIA Master and head of the Anti-Basimist junta, describes the underlying philosophy of this year's contest, "Life is like a bowl of cherries; all you have to do is spit out the pits. therefore, the sun is like a grapefruit, soft to the touch, but good with sugar on it. You get my meaning..."
A sordid bunch of rugose clones makes up the rest of the victorious junta. Before his surprise immolation at a Dodger's game (they won 6-9), shyster lawyer Simon Schuster revealed their identities, which he had discerned from a top-secret film clip later shown as the in-flight movie on TWA's milkrun commuter flight to Bair Bidjhan.
The list reads like an International Brotherhood of Canasta Players' Who's Who. First is Wolfgang Q. Fawz, known bookbinder and suspected TV Ford man. Second, Izzy Itskowitz, one-time pin boy and now Chicago's biggest fire hydrant. Third, Saxo Grammaticas, who danced with Rudolph Nureyev several times, but was refused a date. Forth, rootless cosmopolitan, Luteus T. Pinecone, known as "hairless Harry" to his mom. The fifth and final man is Raoul Mendez, professional psychotic and part owner in an unsuccessful chain of soft ice cream stands called Dairy Oaf. This mob should pose a formidable challenge to anyone attempting to stitch them together.
This year's questions should prove as tough as Swiss steak, and none of last year's questions will be repeated (while anyone is listening). Cheating on the scale of last year's free-for-all will not be tolerated. Especially despicable was the scandal (reprinted fro the 1948 Mazda Owner Warrantee Part IV-Transmission Belts) where 16 of the 24 TRIVIA masters on the Supreme Council of Seven were found reading the answers to their own questions. Shame on them - that's why they have been doomed to a Hades where eternity is an exact fare bus and all you have is a 5-dollar bill. Hail TRIVIA, AMEN Brothers!
Giving TRIVIA players spiritual advice this year will be St. Tuchulus, the Jewish patron Saint of Christmas. He will be available for consultation and abuse (as will all the Masters) On both Trivia lines: ON CAMPUS 602 & 627 - OFF CAMPUS 731-9227. Please don't call the switchboard, or St. Tuchulus will see that your ears are filled with tree sap.
Jeopardy will be played this year at 6 p.m. on Sunday. Teams will have from 4:30 to 5:30 to call in their four letter secret code word. this is the time to really gain those points (or blow the whole game).
Phone answerers are needed but no marathoning will be allowed (unless you want to sort 45's).
Thirty-eight year old Perfect Master Pope Pontius Page ¼ has decreed that putrid green Stank Ola tee shirts be promulgated publicly and they are available during Chinese banking hours throughout the contest for $2.50.
Finally, remember Stan Cola, the world's only tuna-flavored sort drink, is still TRIVIA's sponsor. This year the folks from Stank Ola have come up with an even greater supply of the deep sea delight (it's hard to get rid of) in those easy no-pour bottles, and the brine will flow at WLFM.
Stan Cola is sold in the furniture polish section of your favorite store and remember, if you don't drink it, it'll stunt your growth.
-February 20, 1976
Well, the 11th year of Trivia has come and gone, and once again, the Phi Taus, alias Moonbase Rutabaga, took the salt. However, the highlight of the 50 hours of madness came Sunday evening after nearly a half hour of Jeopardy, when the score of front running Baba Ram Dass and the Main Hall Ascetics was zeroed for cheating; a first in the history of Trivia.
Trivia '76 began precisely at 10 pm Friday, and before long Moonbase and Baba Ram Dass were fighting neck and neck for the lead in the contest. meanwhile, some of the grand old names of Trivia, Lizzard Rex, Tuna Tower, and Angelo Mysterioso, were struggling to keep peace.
The real mystery, though, was Baba Ram Dass. No one could figure out who they were or where they were phoning answers from on-campus. WLFM sent out repeated messages for these Ascetics to identify themselves. Spies flocked to the campus, but the underground failed to turn up any clues as to the identity of Baba Ram Dass. Unconfirmed reports had the Ascetics operating out of the weight room of Alexander Gym.
Even more puzzling than the identity of Baba Ram Dass was their uncanny ability to come up with answers almost at will. For hours at a time, Baba Ram Dass just could not miss a question. Then they were silent. But within a couple of hours they were back again, dominating the on-campus phone lines. While some insisted that Baba Ram Dass was an elite group of the faculty who were trying to spoil Trivia for the students, most weary-eyed trivia players merely moaned, "Who are these guys and what do they want?"
As the contest progressed, it became apparent that Baba Ram Dass was not playing within the rules of Trivia. One question early Sunday morning asked for the definition of some word. But the word was so poorly pronounced over the air that the question was ultimately thrown out. Yet, irregardless of pronunciation, Baba Ram Dass was the only on-campus team to get the right answer. then, later, Baba Ram Dass was the only team to identify the five guitarists and did so in the order in which the tapes were played.
Finally, the trivia masters decided they had had enough of Baba Ram Dass. the Serbian Army was reinstated, St. Tuchulus got the tree sap boiling and the Ascetics were given a big fat zero. Well, who were these guys? They were the Trivia Masters, who else. In a strange story that still remains largely unclear, the Trivia Masters created their own team to keep people on campus on their toes.
Another first for Trivia was Bill Shaw, '78. Bill was the first person to publicly stay up the full 50 hours answering phones and keeping score. He is a Phi Tau pledge and his activating dare was to participate the entire 50 hours. Bill was doing fine until he swallowed a phone late Sunday evening. though he has recovered somewhat from the incident, well-wishers are asked not to call.
Finally, Stan Cola was offered for the first time in 50 pound throw-away lead cans. If you like the taste of Mercury in your tuna fish sandwiches, you'll just die over Stan Cola in the lead cans. Also, just when you thought trivia T-shirts were getting trivial, Larry page informs us that he has a whole batch of Trivia T-shirts and the price is still $2.50. Better hurry before Larry eats them all himself.